Temporary break in postings

Hi All,

I am taking a short break from posting while I recover from a virus. And no, I won't be working out in the mean time!

I hope to be back at the keyboard soon.

Love,

Renee

The Coffee Experience

7:45 am. That extra 45 minutes lounging in bed, with early sun (not fog) outside has a fine effect on my mood. I'm feeling wonderful as I meander through my oatmeal ritual.

8:25 am. My Saturday morning step class has the advantage of being a few storefronts down from Peets. I order my decaf capp "for here", which means it comes in a ceramic cup and saucer. Delightful on a sunny bench outside.

Excuse me while I digress, but I often wonder why I almost always have the only ceramic cup in a coffee bar. Do others who I see drink their drinks in, not know the words "for here"? Just about everyone else drinks from paper, which conveniently gets tossed in the landfill care package ( or garbage can). I can only imagine the volume of discarded paper cups and lids from a single day. It's an eco disaster. And I'm sorry, I don't buy the argument that the energy to wash the dishes is more wasteful.

I even bring my own plastic spoon, which I tote around in my bag. It actually gets washed from time to time as well.

9:00 am. Step class. A woman asks me to move from my carefully selected spot so she can squeeze into her preferred spot. I end up in front of the fan, and on the way to the water fountain so that throughout the class people are bumping into me, and I'm blasted by the unwelcome buzz of the industrial fan.

It's a great opportunity to practice my "I love" and "I forgive" affirmations.

12:10 pm. I'm starving. 1 chicken burrito and frozen corn, eaten with my family, on plates with knifes and forks, and cloth napkins. Frozen food never had it so good.

Before I wash the sauce pan that held the corn, I scoop a couple of spoonfuls of the corn infused water directly into my mouth. No one was looking.

3:30 pm. I'm about a 1.5 on my scale, but have a Zen bun anyway. I'm wanting more when I finish, but I'm not hungry enough. I know it will spoil my dinner if I eat more.

5:30 pm. 1 clementine.

6:30 pm. Munching on red pepper and baby carrots that I've served the kids. It's an automatic reaction to food I've classified as healthy and harmless.

7:00 pm. I'm part way through a birthday party for my son with 14 children in my home, some of whom are sleeping over. They have finished their meal and the movie goes on. Peace. Ahhhhh. We eat something I didn't eat for about 17 years. Pizza. With veggie topping of course. And steamed broccoli with my favorite Goddess dressing and balsamic vinegar.

I wasn't super hungry when I started, but somehow my appetite opens up when I start. Pizza eaten with a knife and fork surprisingly meets my need for ceremony around my evening meal. Well, the first slice and a half are eaten this way. My husband's crusts, and the last 1/2 piece are eaten, err, less ceremoniously.

And 1.5 glasses of red wine in a big round glass that magnifies the experience. Very nice.

BTW, the birthday cake has that not quite food smell of food colorings in commercial cakes. Not appealing. Yes, I let my kids have these cakes when I don't make one myself. It's a slice or two a year. They will survive it, I'm sure, and I feel less bad about throwing away the leftovers.

Now, just to get 8 kids to sleep...

Vestiges of Fat Phobia

6:45 am. It's a high intensity weight day and I am not up for it. I remember how much I have benefited from taking a rest day when my body wants it, plus I have to get my book proposal out today for the sake of my own sanity. It's a deal.

7:15 am. what else?

12:15 pm. There seems to be a rather large space in my stomach that would like to be filled. I order a small cup of soup -clear broth and a bite of chicken with a few veggie type things. Then I get my usual Thai veggies with steamed tofu, and alas, white rice. I go from a 0.25 to a 3.0 on my scale.

I'm still hungry by the time I return and have visions of my Zen roll. Today it will be eaten with the absolutely delectable cheese I bought for my hubby on Valentines Day. I can't wait, but I have no choice.

3:45 pm. The roll with a schmear of "La Tur" cheese that has been sitting at room temperature for the last two days developing it's stinkyness. It tastes like clotted cream with an attitude. Heaven. The schmear goes on one half (the smaller), the other I eat plain. I know it's a lot richer than my usual string cheese, and I want to be hungry for dinner.

7:30 pm. I really didn't want to cook, but one has to eat. I assemble the easiest meal I can manage. Then get a little carried away with the cous cous.

Whole wheat couscous seasoned with sauteed onion, sundried tomatoes, and garlic crushed right into the water. I'm feeling reckless so I put in what I consider a lot of butter. It's probably about 1T, maybe a bit more for the batch I make for my family of four, with leftovers.

Years ago, when already thin, but a nutcase about it, I figured out that fat caries a lot of calories for it's volume. To me, that meant bad value. So I eliminated virtually all fat from my diet. I remember eating huge volumes of food, and never feeling satisfied, in spite of quantities that would make an NFL player proud.

I've since relaxed my standards, as evidenced by my whole milk cappuccinos, and I'm much the happier for it. Still, my benchmark for fat quantities seems to be dramatically lower than it is for most. Butter goes on bread in a gossamer schmear. Oil coats the pan, and the remains are drained out. Salad dressing goes on lightly, or on the side. Good or bad, it works for me.

Oh yes, the rest of diner.

More left over red beans. A bit of cheese - Spanish Manchengo. Very nice with the beans, and a salad. I eat an impressive quantity of the cous cous, which is quite tasty.

1 medium bowl of cereal puts me to bed.

Scaling the hills and valley

6:25 am. Wow. Early. But I know this is the only window to work out, and I rouse myself out of bed thinking about how great I will feel afterwards, and I'm right. 53 and 1/2 min, more or less, scaling the hills (many) and valley (one) of my neighborhood. My stomach points out that all of the eating I did yesterday has not placated it. I'm thinking "hunger" as I pant up the first hills. Fortunately my escalating heart rate dwowns out the pangs about 20 minutes in.

8:00 oatmeal, et al. I don't have quite enough time for the decaf capp, but I do it anyway, and end up finishing it in the car sitting in the garage before pulling out. Oh well.

10:30 am. I'm starving again. I contemplate an early Zen bakery roll, but eating one now would be like eating oatmeal for dinner (I've tried this by the way). It's just not right.

I interview the available options according to how they will make my stomach feel and settle on left over brussel sprouts with that tangy Godess dressing mixed with balsamic vinegar. Why the roll is out of place in the morning but brussel sprouts are not is a unclear, but my stomach has spoken. Brussel Sprouts will be just right to get me through until lunch time.

1:15 pm Thai veggies. The brown rice smells like an old sponge for some reason. Oh well. I'll save the $1 upcharge and stick with the refined product.

5:30 pm. Starving. an apple in the car (at least I'm a passenger)

6:00 pm. Ravenous. An early dinner before a family movie. I chose a crepe filled with mushrooms, tomatoes, feta and basil. It does the job like an old Toyota. No style, no finesse, but it fills a need. I eat my salad, my potatoes, and 1/2 of my son's. I am delightfully full (a 7 on my 10 point scale).

I buy the kids a cookie for dessert, and split in half. One is bigger than the other, and to save a lot of moaning, I take a bite of the bigger side, for no other reason than to even it out and create harmony in the family. Just another generous gesture by me. Wow. It was way too sweeeeeet. But I could have eaten more.

There are free chips and cookies at the movie. Not hungry, not an option. It wasn't good stuff anyway.

All thought potatoes get me through to bed time without cereal, and I am grateful.

A Bottomless Pit Day

The day started normally enough.

7:15 oatmeal, grapes, and a particularly delightful homemade decaf. capp. One of the pleasures of life. There's a reason I'm addicted.

I wasn't able to workout in the morning as I prefer. Instead, I hoofed it to and from the BART train for a downtown appointment. I love walking for transportation. Bonus exercise, beautiful scenery, fresh air, interesting houses, shops and people. Today it was a total of about 40 min round trip, fast paced, with the added bonus of BART stairs. Yes, I walk up them, no matter how many. Why not? More bonus exercise that lifts the derriere. What's not to like?

12:30 pm. Working out when my body says lunch arouses some protestations, but I perservere. I realize how great I'll feel afterwards, and how unpleasant it is to rouse myself from afternoon immobility to exercise. I hop on the elliptical. A tape (yes, a tape, for a VCR. There are a few still in operation) of Oprah's show on "The Secret" enthralls me to 54 minutes. Love that Law of Attraction stuff. Yes. My dream is to be on Oprah too. Actually, my dream is to have Oprah as a client, then be on her show. Back to today. My goal was 50 min, so I overachieved by 4. I feel great.

2:00 pm. Thai veggies and tofu again. I learn, after I order, that they have brown rice. When did they add that to the menu? This is a major development. It doesn't get much more exciting than this.

My water comes with a straw today, and I notice they have carefully shaped the paper into a little heart in honor of Valentines day. Now that's attention to detail. I bring it home for my kids, who find it as exciting as I found the brown rice.

3:00 pm. I'm still hungry, so another Zen baker bun and string cheese. I'm still hungry.

4:45 pm. An apple. Still ravenous. 1/2 of my daughter's banana and a string cheese. Still very hungry.

7:00 pm. Absolutely empty. I prepare a large meal:

Chicken burrito
brussel sprouts
left over brown rice
salad

It occurs to me at this point that I'm having one of my "bottomless pit" days. They are fairly unusual and a real hassle. It seems no amount of food can satiate my stomach. I keep eating, and keep not filling up. After a while, I give up and go to bed. There's no point eating more since it doesn't seem to help much. Sometimes they continue into the next day.

Tonight, however, I'm not yet ready to give up.

Although I've already eaten more than my norm, I have lots of room for more. 3/4 of a chicken tamale salvaged from my kid's plates (waste not want not, and all that). I'm temporarily full, but feel it's just a volume issue. In a few minutes, my stomach asks for more calories, please. "Remember all that exercise you did today?" it says.

Tonight, it's an adult bowl of cereal, a second, and the remains of my son's.

It's definitely an impressive amount of food, and guess what. As I write, I'm still very hungry. It's time for bed.

Visual Cues

It's clear by the delayed reaction of my body to my mind's orders that today will be a rest day. Rest days are supposed to be meditation days, but somehow that didn't happen either.

I'm feeling yesterday's exuberance in the gym as well those face plants into the powder over the weekend. Every twinge of soreness reminds me that I have done well, that I am alive.

8:00 am. Oatmeal, etc.
12:30 pm. Peasant Pie and vegetarian chili
6:00 pm. I fantasized about a Zen bakery bun at 2:30, but my schedule didn't provide for one. Driving home from school, I'm starving. My daughter offers to share her apple and I refuse. It seems too acidic. I would rather have my meal.

Then I get the left over bag when we arrive home. A quick glance down and I see my children have left lots of fruit attached to the core. Somehow the visual cue activates my hunger, which reminds me that I hate to waste food, and my habit of of eating every last morsel off of apple cores that originated when I was on a 750 calories a day diet 25 years ago. All this engages my arm, causing me to nibble on the remains. Not unlike a hamster. A lot can transpire in an instant.

And yet, it's of no import. The food is healthy. There are few calories, and I'm a shade less ravenous. It's forgotten by the time I'm up the stairs.

7:15 pm. Into the rice cooker went:

brown rice
sun dried tomatoes snipped into little pieces with scissors
4 whole cloves or garlic (chopping takes too long)
olive oil
salt

Meanwhile, the cauliflower and broccoli are steamed to a pulp as I'm managing dinner, kid's homework, kids lunches (which they are attempting to make for the first time ever. I can't say their help is a time saver yet), and the very annoying computer like game they excavated from the toy cabinet. Looks like I better make a salad.

The rice passes the gourmet husband test. Red beans from the freezer, salad, and some sauteed onion with a single sausage for flavor round out the meal. Pretty nice for a weeknight, but too time consuming. I add "look up super easy rice cooker recipes" to my to-do list.

Hunger calls again and I'm off to the cereal cupboard.

Efficient Spirituality

I woke up feeling energetic, in spite of a non-stop weekend of skiing (hint, hint for yesterday's riddle). Often post ski-weekend Monday's find me in desperate desire of rest, but not today. My body is sore, thanks to several face plants in the fresh powder. No, I don't know how to ski it yet, but yes I'm getting better. At least it's a soft-ish landing.

Nevertheless, I found myself actually looking forward to today's weightlifting sandwich. I love weightlifting. You'd think I would be the yoga type, but no. Yoga is way too slow for me. And why is it that all yoga classes are 1.5 hours long? Doesn't that seem like a long time for stretching? Where do all those afficionados find the time? I do realize I'm missing the whole spiritual self-discovery aspect. I'm actually very fond of spiritual self-discovery. I just like to be efficient about it.

And there's nothing more efficient than weight lifting. I'm in and out of the gym in 35 minutes, having grunted through every body part including abs, and a few strategic stretches (I make sure to think spiritual thoughts while I'm doing them. I do miss the group OOOhhhhhhmmmmm though).

The jog back was somewhat harder than the jog there. It begins and ends uphill, and remember, this is the city of Lombard St. When I say hill, I don't mean measly mound. I confess. I do have to abandon the jog in favor of powerwalking and panting up the steepest.

7:15 am You know. Oatmeal. Decaf capp.

1:20 pm After today's Lighten Up call on Childhood Obesity (register for the free download at www.mindforbody.com), I visited my favorite Thai lunch spot, Swatdee. The picture shows what is now a part of me. Every morsel today. Weightlifting, efficiency, appetite.

4:00 pm I'm very hungry, as usual at this time of day. A Zen bakery raisin bun, and one stick minus one bite of string cheese. It did cross my mind that my daughter's bite meant I was jipped a few calories, but she is so darn cute and sweet, that thought quickly drifted away until this very moment.

6:15 pm I'm off to an event tonight, so it's an early chicken burrito and a super speedy salad of pre-washed organic baby lettuce, a few mushroom slices and leftover dressing from yesterday. It hits the spot, especially because it was eaten sitting down, on a real plate, with the aforementioned cute and sweet daughter who gave me multiple light up the room smiles and laughs. Joy.

I speed walk to my evening event. Up and down a momentous mound - the Castro hill I already patronized this morning. Another 40 minutes round trip. I love these bonus workouts, and so does the lower half of my anatomy.

9:15 pm. I'm in need of more calories, so I know it will be a respectable serving of cereal. I eye the big bowl, and reject it in favor of the tiny plastic bowl. I know there will be two, and I somehow think it will be more fun that way. I'm aware this is a little odd. An available 1/4 of an apple also disappears.